Thanksgiving is waste of Time/Turkey

I swear thanksgiving is the holiday to worship satan. It is a time to spend a lot of money on gross ass food and for what ? To spend hours making it ? Or to spend hours cleaning it up ? Or to spend 20 minutes to eat as much as you can to just take a nap after and feel like absolute shit. Seriously you eat, sleep, get all clogged up, and gain 10 pounds. I love when they tell me to get my fat ass off the couch and help. Turkey is not even good, nobody even likes turkey half the time. You also get in trouble when you call it a "Twerky" and twerk in your nephews face. You just cannot win this holiday. Turkey is like the Christmas tree of November. It is for decoration. We kill thousands of birds just to shake and bake them and then set them up in the middle of the dining room table. God I hate thanksgiving. Then you have to go around the table and say things you are thankful for when you got nothing good in your life. And then your family calls you a bitch for not saying anything. I am grateful for granny's gross ass stuffing and the god damn bird that gave it's life for this vegetarian thanksgiving, does that sound better? Currently on this Thanksgiving I am two laxatives in, sitting on the couch gassy as hell watching Narnia. Who am I ? How did I get here? I will tell you this will only happen once a year and Thanksgiving is that time. I think that Thanksgiving should be illegal. However, I do think its funny when people think thanksgiving is on a fucking Wednesday. It has only been celebrated on the fourth Thursday of every November for the last what ? Hundred years. I see why the poor little sixteen year old at my work would get confused.... Do me a favor and teach the children about holidays and not hand jobs. Alright fellow readers, signing off. Catch me bitching about Christmas here in the next month. I leave you with this. Poor Pocahontas.